An Update on Convict Conditioning

I know I've endorsed it in the past, but screw Convict Conditioning. There's not enough volume or training frequency to be worth doing as anything but a warmup. The suspiciously anonymous man himself, Coach Paul Wade, would not have done his own program if he wanted to get big.

Here, I'll write the whole book for you guys right here, but improved with tips and programming that will make it actually work. This is not terribly related to the thread but I might as well rant while I have an audience.

The Six Basic Movements

Pullup
Get to five sets of 15 bodyweight rows. Congratulations, you can now do a few pullups. Do mass sets until you can get 50 in a 20 minute workout, then try to keep doing the same volume in fewer sets. Pause and hold at the top of each rep for a three count.
The one armed chinup has eluded me, you're on your own there. General consensus suggests that this can take a year or two depending on how big of a fatty you are.

Pushup
Start with regular pushups (knee pushups if you are a woman) and work to 5 sets of 15-20 with maybe a minute rest in between sets. Then do the same with diamond pushups or pushups elevated on something. Progress by either adding weight or not bothering with pushups except as a warmup and buying a dip station to work on your dips.

Handstand Pushup
Once you can do three sets of five pushups (not a joke) start kicking against the wall into a handstand position early. Get to where you can do handstands against the wall for at least 3-5 sets of 60 seconds. Then you can start working on doing little handstand dips. Do these miniature handstand pushups on a stack of phonebooks or something. Progress to negatives (do singles with much rest interval). At the bottom of each negative rep (this is not safe for beginners, land on a pillow) press upwards like hell for at least ten seconds.
To end the "controversy", the one armed handstand pushup is probably impossible unless you're Arthur Saxon.

Leg Raise
Get to where you can do five sets of 15-20 lying leg raises on the ground, then five sets of 15-20 hanging knee tucks, then buy an ab wheel and work from the knees. This should be renamed to the standing ab wheel rollout progression.

Bridge
These are stupid and worthless, don't bother unless you think you need the mobility. Most people do need the mobility but don't fool yourself into thinking this will build strength.

Pistol Squat

Skip all the introductory steps, work on your regular bodyweight squats until you can do 100 without stopping. Then start working on your assisted pistol or repeat the bw squat to 100 with extra weight - 40 pounds will work. I went from doing 50-60 bodyweight squats straight to two or three pistols. Why bother with the intermediate garbage. Once you can do a pistol slay that shit for reps.

A Few Observations and Remarks

Programming
A standard workout would be at least M/W/F and better yet M/T/TH/F and hitting two or preferably three lifts per session. You can also do one lift at a time for two-a-days. Set and rep schemes do not matter as much as keeping your rest intervals somewhat short and your overall training volume high. Rippetoe is full of shit about overtraining, more volume is generally better than less. That extra set will not kill you.

Programming is not terribly complicated. If it is an easy movement then do lots of reps and fewer sets (5x15 is a good baseline). If it is a hard movement then do few reps and lots of sets (10-20 sets of 1 rep, 10-15 sets of 2 reps, 10 sets of 3 reps, etc). If you want to get more volume in, then pick an easier progression after your money sets and do a death set with that. For instance, you can do ten sets of 3 feet elevated pushups, then do knee pushups for a death set of 18.

Training more frequently and not to failure is probably preferable to going balls out, but on Fridays since you have the weekend to binge drink and putz around you might as well hit failure.

HSPU Difficulties
For HSPUs you are going to have to do isometric type shit for a long time. Handstand holds against a wall help significantly, straight arm and slightly bent arm. So does leaning against a wall in the headstand position and pressing upwards very hard for isometric holds of 5-20 seconds (however much you like). Isometric movements against basically immovable objects (it will be that way for a while) will teach your muscles to fire all at once on command.

Assistance Work
Just because you're doing bodyweight doesn't mean you should neglect the gym completely. You're going to have trouble with the pistol squat and handstand pushup for a long time if you neglect useful gym additions, like doing barbell back squats and military press.

Instead of the pistol squat progressions, you can do a 20 rep squat program and work on mobility for pistols. Inside of a month of doing 20 rep squats twice or three times a week you will probably be able to do a pistol.

If you can't strict press something like 70% of your bodyweight then the headstand pushup (it's true name) is well out of your grasp. If you can't back squat bodyweight for at least a few reps then the pistol squat might be out of your grasp as well. These are all just different ways to get the same shit done. You might as well add variety to your program since lifting does not have to be boring.

If you're stuck or not progressing, stop and think about why that might be before getting on the internet and asking everybody for their opinion. Struggling and figuring shit out for yourself is how you get better.

This little guide is just how I got from shitty to OK and it's stuff I figured out on my own. I've been derping around in the gym for the last couple months.

Frame of Reference

The average Convict Conditioning "athlete" touts certain skills (such as the muscle up or pistol squat) as being indicative of elite strength, the same skills that a gymnast would not even consider an intermediate movement. Gymnasts don't even train the muscle-up in particular, it's just a fact of life that they need to use it to climb up the rings to do their actual strength workouts.

Here, take a look at Ring Drills and Skills ->

http://www.drillsandskills.com/skills/Rings/

Look at that, the muscle up on the rings is considered a basic skill. It's not even an A-level skill. And this list goes from A all the way to E in difficulty.

The back lever and front lever are considered A-level skills. Insane, right? Completely insane that a movement that would be considered elite strength by a CC athlete is barely a skill with respect to ring gymnastics. The CC athletes have to call the back lever the "reverse planche" to make it seem harder.

The choice is pretty clear to me, if you don't want to waste all your time at a comparatively low level of strength years, then once you get a good base of strength from doing calisthenics you should start with gymnastic training.